People often find themselves in a relationship with someone who shows violent tendencies. It may start with them verbally assaulting you or people you love, even your children. But over time, they may become aggressive and violent.

They begin to make excuses for their partner, and they may walk on eggshells hoping that they do not do anything to set them off. According to our domestic violence attorneys, you need to remove yourself from that situation immediately. If you are seeing someone expressing anger inappropriately or excessively, and you fear they will become violent, then do not stay there.

They Are Such a Good Person Until They Get Mad…

Anger is a natural emotion. Like any other emotion, it is useful. When the power of anger is harnessed, it becomes a tool. Righteous indignation is a powerful weapon that has proven itself to be vital when standing up for people who cannot defend themselves. Even anger in a smaller frame can be used as a learning device. For instance, you went shopping and put charges on the credit card that you just paid off. You are angry at yourself, but instead of allowing these negative feelings to control you, you identify the reasonsfor your behavior. You don’t become that anger. You use that anger.

Can Therapy Help?

The answer to this is a definite, maybe. If the person truly wants help, therapy is invaluable. In therapy, people are challenged to look beyond their immediate emotions and think about the consequences of their behaviors.

Anger is often related to different forms of depression. Usually, a person who is always angry does not know how to express their emotions. At some point in their past, they were probably physically or emotionally hurt. Other issues that often come up is the way they were treated as children. Childhood trauma can be a direct cause for anger issues in adulthood. The only way someone can deal with these deep-rooted issues is to confront them, and slowly learn how to cope with the past. Therapy is a helpful tool if they want to learn how to effectively communicate with others, and prevent their emotions from controlling their life.

The person who is willing to look inside and put effort into learning a better way will succeed. However, if they are only doing it because someone is “forcing” them, then they do not want to change, and most likely, the behavior will continue.

This is why court-ordered therapy often fails. Anger management is a wonderful training tool, but if they do not want it, they will not benefit from it. People who exhibit violent tendencies are usually master manipulators. These individuals can make you believe you are the source of their anger. If you accept that, then you are permitting them to be violent. You are allowing the abusive cycle to continue by taking responsibility for their actions.

If you are living in a situation like this, you may consider legal action to keep the person away from you while they get help, or until you can get to safety. Do not fool yourself. You are not causing the violence, and you cannot stop the violence. Only the damaged person can repair the damage. Healing and recovery are possible. It is not easy, but it is possible.

For more information, speak to a domestic violence lawyer today.